Dark Mistress

F.Y.I

2008-11-20T16:48:00.000-08:00

The blog will be moving over to MissEliza.com in the next couple of days (finally put my own blogging software on the server.) So if you want to keep up with what I'm doing and such, that would be the place to check.

I will be leaving the archives up, but this is the last time I update the ole blogspot.

See ya on the other side!

Http://www.misseliza.com/index2.htm

Website

2008-11-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

Under construction!

Please disregard for the next day or so.

Post Party

2008-11-16T15:16:00.001-08:00

Had a lovely time at La Domaine this weekend. They're always very gracious hosts. And there's always a lot going on!

I got to break in my new boots, and think that I will reprise my catsuit ensemble this week for a shoot.

So excited about making more videos: I might take a camera with me on vacation. Kinky beach clips, anyone?

Gasp

2008-11-14T07:47:00.000-08:00

The rope around his neck connects to the rope binding his feet together: a breathless hogtie. When the I slide the hitches back, he has to come up on his arms to avoid being choked. It sort of looks like he's doing a woman's push-up.

When his face goes too red, I slide the knots forward, so he can fall to the bed and breathe.

I sit in front of him and stick my legs between his raised arms. They quiver from bearing his weight and he makes fish-out-of-water faces. It seems like a nice time to tweak his nipples, so I do. And then I give the rope some slack. He falls forward, face in my cleavage. As soon as he's drawn a breath, he pecks one breast lightly. We have a nice, quiet moment. I stroke his hair. I make him tell me he's mine.

Then I tighten the rope again.

Members' Section

2008-11-11T17:19:00.001-08:00

The Members' Section of the site will open in January 2009.

Videos of sessions and general naughtiness will also be available at Clips4Sale.

Finally.

Coming Soon: Video!

2008-11-07T16:23:00.000-08:00

I shot some video footage today with an awesome photographer/videographer. Really excited to see the finished products, and to get started on some new stuff. I've got all sorts of things I'd like to capture on film! And I've found some folks who want to be my co-stars, so things are looking good.

Of course, I'll be sure to put up a link when the videos are up. So, stay tuned!

Chuggin' Along

2008-11-04T07:28:00.000-08:00

Today, I've got a coffee meeting with a videographer. I've been kicking around an idea for an introductory clip to put on my site, and it seems that his approach will work perfectly. Exciting!

I've also got a date with the gym in bit. This should all distract me from worrying about the election... fuck, I hope Obama takes it. Otherwise, I might need to head even further north than Seattle!

Hee Hee

2008-10-30T22:53:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't say that I have a tickling fetish. But I do like to do it to M. He's extremely ticklish, and it drives him nuts. So nuts that it can be dangerous to do if he's not bound: he'll thrash around uncontrollably.

Sometimes I'll tie him up and lay him out on the bed. I'll let my hands hover over him, fingers wiggling.
The pleading begins immediately.

"No..no...please! Not that!"

I'm not sure what's worse for him: the actual tickling or the threat of it.

Its especially good when he's in his spandex body bag. It's got sleeves in it, and after I've added a layer of ropes, he can't move at all.

This is someone who can take a really hard caning. Intense flogging. Beatings that make him bleed.

But one little wiggle of my finger just below his ribs, and it's all over.

I love it.

Limbo

2008-10-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

Am being awful about updating this blog. It's difficult to update two at once: particularly when one is a paid gig that can't be overly neglected!

I shot with a new photographer on Monday, and am curious to see how the images will come out. It had been so long since I'd done a shoot. It's going to take a little bit of readjustment to get back into the swing of things.

Anyway, I've got to go to bed now. But I will definitely update again in a day or so!

Here, There, Somewhere

2008-10-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

Oy.
I'm not dead! In fact, I'm looking forward to a shoot with a female submissive on Monday. It won't be medically themed, but I intend to tie her up in pretty ways. We'll see how it goes from there...

Spent the day in the salon, getting my hair all prettied up. I keep saying I want to cut it, but haven't been in the mood for it yet. Maybe I'll be more in the mood once I've got some leather pants. And new combat boots. It would be really cool to find a good class on wrestling and/or boxing: some more masculine domme techniques would be a nice change.

That's about it. I'm trying to organize a couple of more shoots and I'm looking to get out of town in December (so those of you on my "good" list still have a month and a half to session with me before I go on vacation!)

Angry

2008-10-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

I saran wrap his fists shut. Cover torso and arms with yard after yard of plastic. His eyes and mouth are sealed shut with duct tape.

I push him back against the door and tape him in place: on strip above his nipples, the other at the bottom of his rib cage. I lean forward and bite through the plastic until his nipple is exposed. He winces as I free the other.

Using the Devil's Tail, I pepper him with red marks. Then I turn it over to the embossed side, so that little E's mark the location of each strike. We start up on his pecs, and move down to his inner thighs.

I let the Tail fall onto the same spot, over and over. He rocks and lets out muffled grunts: eventually he tears free of the duct tape around his body. I push his head back against the door and kiss his chin; run a hand down his neck. His Adam's appple bobs in what is either relief or anticipation.

I put a hand on each shoulder and turn him so that his back is to me. I grab two canes and lay into his ass: it welts up immediately. His nostrils flare and he drives his forehead into the door. He makes a sound of utter frustration and stamps the ground with one foot.

He can't see my half-smile as I stop beating and slide one cane back and forth against his ass cheek.

"Oh... did that make you angry?"

Just Do It

2008-10-14T22:41:00.000-07:00

If there's a Domme that you would like to meet, I would suggest doing it sooner rather than later. For one thing, people come and go: there's no guarantee that Mistress Deb will still be taking appointments a few months from now. Secondly, those who don't go tend to grow: she might not be the same dominant in a few months.

Every so often, a voicemail will crop up on my personal phoneline from someone wanting to meet me. I used that number for a brief period at the beginning of my career: at this point, you've been holding onto it for about a year now. What gives?

And I still get requests for Brown Showers and Schoolgirl roleplays: had they contacted me when these were activities of interest, it could have been arranged.

I guess it's not something that I can personally relate to: I've always jumped at trying new sexual experiences. The first time a boyfriend asked me to pee on him, I was squatting over him in the tub a few minutes later (it didn't actually happen until the second attempt though: potty training is some bad juju!) It just seems to me that sexuality is the one thing that we all have that no one can take away: why not explore it?

In talking to a lot of clients (not only those who see me, but men who see Pro Dommes in general), I've come to realize that there are a lot of people out there who have so much shame surrounding their desires. It's really unfortunate. It's kind of on a Thought Police/Big Brother tip: people don't feel free to enjoy themselves, as adults, behind closed doors.

During my semi-hiatus, I've been thinking about what exactly it is that I want to get out of Domming. What the goal is. What the focus is. And now, I'm more certain than ever that sex work is not something to be done simply for money. Not just because it would be unsatisfying for me, but because it would do clients a disservice. There is nothing truly liberating about paying someone to go through a scripted scene.

I've known clients who can only conduct their scene by rote: Step one to step two to step three. Kick three times here, tug my nipples there. That, to me, is possibly more harmful than good. It reduces their sexuality and their desires to an obsessive-compulsive act. Almost like a tic. If someone feels the need to wash their hands fifty times a day, the solution isn't to charge them for soap and a sink: you need to find out why they feel so fundamentally tainted.

I wonder if there isn't a way to do that? Rather than avoid such submissives, would there be a way to re-train them in how they think? Would that be something they'd even be interested in? Would it be something within the capabilities of someone who is not anywhere near being a licensed therapist?

I don't know.
I also don't know how I got to this subject... this post hopped around a little bit, eh?

Go West, Young Domme!

2008-10-11T16:22:00.000-07:00

New York is wonderful and all, but it's old. So old. I'm tired of it. I've never lived anywhere else -- I even stayed in state to go to school! -- and with the current climate, I wouldn't be terribly upset about moving. The powers that be seem determined to turn Manhattan into a PG-rated island of really boring rich people.

I'm looking at Portland and Seattle. (Oddly, I tend to conflate the two cities for some reason: only Kurt Cobain and Frasier, respectively, distinguish them in my mind.) After a quarter of a century of East Coasterdom, it's about time for a change, no?

The weather is nicer: I'll take Seattle's rain if it means no more scorching summers and witch's tit winters. It would also be my first time living in a city with a reasonable real estate market. I could probably get my own studio in half the time it would take to do so here. And I can think of a few folks on the West coast that I'd be happy to see semi-regularly, since a flight to San Francisco would no longer take forever.

Who knows? Maybe I'd hate living on the west coast. But it's certainly worth a try: New York's skyline just doesn't glitter the way it used to.

What Do You Do?

2008-10-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

Ever since taking down my Eros ad and gearing up for the return to the vanilla world o' work, I've felt... a tad down. M pointed out that I'm still able to session and act upon my kinky impulses: and that's all true. But I can't help but feel that some of my identity has been wrenched away from me.

When people asked what I did, I got to say "I'm a Professional Dominatrix."
Sometimes it wasn't fun to say, because I was sort of tired or maybe kind of drunk at a party, and not really in the mood to explain what that meant, or to listen to someone tell me about their sex life. (When you are a sex worker, some people think that you want to know all about their personal sex secrets.)

But most of the time, I was happy about saying it, and would cheerfully elaborate on my career choice.

Now, when people ask, I have to say I'm a [vanilla job here]. And they'll go, "Oh, that's nice. My cousin does that: do you like it?"

I mean, I guess I'm still technically a semi-Professional Dominatrix, but that's not as good. I've never introduced myself as an art model, because I'm only semi-pro at that as well, so I can't start bending rules now, can I?

It makes me feel so...ordinary.
I hate that.

The Doctor Is In

2008-10-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

I'm very into the idea of medical play and am dying to do a shoot. Problem is, I want to shoot it with a woman.

The upsides to working with a woman:

- I could use a speculum. (Not a fan of anal specs, so I never use it on men.)
- The ability to utilize some fun makeup on her.
- Boobies.

The downsides:

- Where am I supposed to find a hot girl who will let me mummify her in Ace bandages and stick a speculum into her vagina... in front of a photographer?

Maybe I should start hiring minor porn stars?

Celebrities I Would Tie Up OR A Girl Can Dream, Can't She?

2008-10-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

Julian McMahon:
Because he is shamless about his own objectification, yet manages to not come off looking as though he belongs in Playgirl.

Clive Owen:
Look up "Man" in the dictionary and you'll just find a glossy photograph of Clive. (Who else can manage to look distinctly male with the words "Stop your skin from aging" superimposed over him in pink?)

Lenny Kravitz:
Good God, yes please. But there had better be a gag.

Matthew McConaughey:
I actually kind of hate him. It might be the accent. It might be that disgusting line he has in "Dazed and Confused." I just want to...agh!!! Get out the canes and CBT rope.

Prince:
Is he black or white? Is he straight... or gay? I don't know. But if you ever get the chance to do anything with Prince, take it. It'll be an awesome story. Hell, even if you just eat a sandwich with him, it's pretty weird that he sits and eats sandwiches like a normal person! Also, he is tiny, so I could wrestle him.

The Kind of Hyperbole I Like...

2008-10-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

(Nevermind the photos.)

I'm Not Submitting: I Just Have a Wide Stance

2008-09-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

Male dominants are interesting creatures. I have met maybe... four that I like. Of those that remain, orders to hop up onto their knee pepper our brief conversations.

But easily, the most common request I get from self-proclaimed dominant men is to... dominate them. It always happens on the internet: sometimes they are people that I've met before in passing and sometimes they are complete strangers. Whatever the circumstances, it's always entertaining.

There's nothing wrong with being a Switch. I identified as one for quite a while, and happily straddled both sides of the fence. So the humor isn't that oh ho, a man is being dominated. It's that someone expends so much energy trying to project this alpha male, woman-crusher image, just to e-sidle up to dominant women in secret. They're the Larry Craigs of BDSM. (Only, you'd think that if ever there was a place to be exactly who you are, without any cover ups, this would be the community in which to do it.)

I usually point out that they are a lot more likely to find what they're after if they openly identified as Switch. The idea is always met with outrage: whatever makes me think he-- He-man and Master of All -- is a switch?

Other than the fact that you just begged to be my slave and toilet? Besides the photo you just sent of yourself on your knees? Oh, nothing I guess.

Making Lemonade

2008-09-28T22:22:00.000-07:00

When I made the decision to shift my primary focus away from professional sessions last week, I was pretty bummed out about it. But... it seems as though it might actually work out for the best (assuming that the powers that be don't totally wreck the NYC Pro scene. I might be upset if it comes down to moving.)

Keeping my favorite clients means that my play will be consistently enjoyable, with a side of comforting continuity. No longer accepting same-day appointments means that it's a lot easier for me to schedule photoshoots and attend workshops. And not being in the thick of things allows me to look at my business with fresh eyes, so that I can implement the changes necessary to make me a happier Pro Dominant.

So, I'm not tearing my hair out (yet?)

I'm planning a shoot for the Member Site this week with a cool photographer. I think we'll get some good stuff! I forsee silver shoes and white fishnets being involved.

Also have plans to hit some workshops and other events. If I end up going to the Baroness' next shindig, I'll announce it beforehand, as usual.

Of Rubber & Antlers

2008-09-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

I love latex again.
Summer sort of made me hate it. Summer and inadequate air conditioning, rather. But now that things are cooling down, I am back on the rubber train. I sidle up to the outfits at Purple Passion and cop furtive little feels; gravitate towards The Latex Store when aimlessly surfing the web. Just to look.

I even poured myself into my halter dress for a session. I almost NEVER do that. Someone could also use a catsuit...

I'm also very excited about my latest toys. M got me a Devil's Tail with an "E" embossed on it. It's made out of a crosssection of antler, so it doesn't require a whole lot of force to do some real damage. If I hit with the embossed side, it leaves a red "E" print that puffs up after a minute. Very cool!

Then I ordered myself an electric fly swatter. It was under $20 and stings quite a bit, in the most annoying way possible. Lovin' it!

Wolf at the Door

2008-09-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

The wolf is at our door today.
Whose door is it at tomorrow?

Present

2008-09-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

Some of my advertising will be disappearing soon, due to the current climate, but I'm still here. My favorite submissives are, of course, welcome to come in and play. Those wishing to join the fold will have a harder time of things.

I will be taking some backburner projects and moving them to the front, so be on the lookout for those videos and such. The Member's Site progress marches on, and I will still be blogging here about sessions, kink, public appearances, etc.

Little Toy Soldier

2008-09-22T16:43:00.001-07:00

"Why are our nipples so hard?"
Of course, by "our," I mean his. And I already know why they've become sharp little pink points: I just enjoy watching him struggle to form sentences when he's this far gone.

"Because you bit them," he murmurs after a pause.

He stands with his arms bound behind his back, the connected chest harness's tension forcing his spine straight. I like this stance because it lends him a military air. He's my little soldier: captured and bound, but still standing ramrod straight. I am reclining on my side in front of him, about eye level with his crotch, staring up into his boyish face.

His cock and balls are already tied up, and I slip a cock ring over the whole thing. It's made of silicone and vibrates. His brows knit in frustration and he shifts his weight from one foot to another. He whines.

"I-I want to come."

I laugh.

A bead of liquid drips down his shaft and his legs begin to shake.

Who knew that one could actually quiver with desire?

...What?

2008-09-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight.

Yeah... I don't know what to make of it either.

Nice car at the end though.

Making a Public Scene

2008-09-16T23:18:00.001-07:00

While I love a well-equipped and decorated studio space, there are certain games that are more fun when played outdoors.

I am inviting those gentlemen with compatible interests to step outside with me for part of an evening. If the idea of public play -- subtle, of course -- intrigues you, R.S.V.P.

I am currently booking for September 23rd and beyond. Please note that a scene of this breadth requires 24 hours notice, at the very least.

Drum Solo

2008-09-15T22:07:00.000-07:00

I tie his wrists together and walk across the room, foot after foot of rope sliding through my fingers as I go. I grab a chair and turn to face him; pull him towards me, hand over hand. Finally, we stand, face to face.

"Why don't we have a seat?"

I wrap the long rope tails around his forearms and torso. He sits, straight-backed and quiet, hands clasped in his lap. Once his upper body is secure, I take a spreader bar to his legs, force them open with metal and the rest of the rope. Once that's done, I step back and admire my work. His posture moves me: the polite hands-in-lap coupled with the vulgarity of the wide open legs, the tight balls pressed against the leather cushion.

We start with fingertips up and down the arms. Over the chest. Behind the ears. Soon it becomes fingernails, gentle at first, then rougher. Slicing over the belly. The inner thighs.

I love inner thighs.
I love them so much, I decide to write them a song.
The canes are of green fiberglass, one in each hand. I stand between his legs, turned slightly to one side. We start with a slow, steady rhythm, gently tapped against one thigh.

As the canes pick up speed, so does his breath. Mine stops as I concentrate on each strike, on keeping time. Red welts surface with each beat of my living drum. He shakes and struggles as the hits come harder and faster.

When I stop, his entire body shudders with relief.
Whole rest.

European Tour

2008-09-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

I'm toying with the idea of going to Europe this winter. Hence, those of you from across the pond are encouraged to take this survey.

Tools of the Trade

2008-09-11T16:33:00.000-07:00

Before I went Pro, I played exclusively at home: over-the-door cuffs and furry paddles made up what was a decidedly lo-tech play experience. Since being exposed to the larger world of kink, I find myself insanely attracted to gear and toys.

In a sense, the attraction has always been there. When I first began writing short stories and poems as a child, I insisted on having proper pens and a book in which to scribble. I could easily spend an hour in a good stationery store, fingering the covered ballpoints and flipping through blank notebooks. It always gave me a thrill to sit down and write with my chosen implements: I luxuriated in the first few penstrokes on the clean paper. (Always, always a good, stiff paper. I abhored a soft page.)

I'm the same way about books: an already wonderful book becomes positively orgasmic when bound in leather. My grandparents had a set of old encyclopedias that I loved to toy with as a little girl: they had an appeal that even my favorite paperback could never match.

It's funny how little things change.
These days, I run my fingers over the smooth, cool glass of buttplugs; inhale the scent of hemp rope before binding wrists together. (Rope, in particular, is a joy to handle, in all of its varities, from the slipperiness of nylon to the stinging abrasiveness of twine.)

I grow excited for a scene while I lay out the various things to be used: coils of rope, thick spools of saran wrap, a silver funnel, a pair of canes, wrist a leather gag. All lined up, they send a thrill down my spine.

Using them makes me feel sexy. When I learned my first rope harness, I used it all the time because... well, there's something hot about a capable, utilitarian person doing their thing. It's a characteristic that is so often applied to men-- handiness, being able to corral the physical -- and I enjoy being able to put it on in this aspect of my life. (Too bad it doesn't extend to fixing the pipes or using a powerdrill!)

Hmm. I can't decide whether to take a cold shower now or order more rope.

Reading is Fucking Fundamental

2008-09-11T06:14:00.001-07:00

My birthday was lovely. I wore a tiara and finally got my shipment o' butt plugs and vinyl. M escorted me to Bouley for dinner and they stuffed us with delicious food. I think they tossed in three extra courses. Dessert was endless.

But enough about that. I'm back in action and ready to rant!

Lately, I get a lot of calls in which people state that they will do whatever I want in session. You'd think that someone making that statement would have taken the time to read the 133 words in my advertisement. (Really, I can't be any briefer than that. Read, goddammit!) In the ad, I state that I don't enjoy strap-on. Or intimate body worship. I also say:

Refined Sadist.
Sensory Addict.
Medical Fetishist.
Bondage Enthusiast.

So, bearing this in mind, when someone calls and says that they will do whatever I want, you'd think that they would know that what I want to do relates to being a sadist, a sensory addict, a medical fetishist and bondage enthusiast. I mean, the first 10 words of the ad establishes this.

But no. They want to do whatever I want, so long as what I want includes a strap-on, licking my ass, or forced bi (which, really... even if I did forced bi scenes, you can't come out of nowhere, with no references and expect that I'll just do it. That's pimping, and pimps go to Rikers.)

And y'know.. I don't care to judge their "scene." (Except in passive-aggressive snark that utilizes quotations.) But if you just want things up the butt and body worship, that's Pro Domination 101, and there are plenty of houses. Try one. Some of 'em don't even bother with ad copies that won't get read: just take your pick from the photos.

*Sigh*
The whole point of doing headless photos was to get them to focus on the 133 words. What do I have to do? Remove the photos completely? Take a photo of myself making a disgusted face at a strap-on? Grrr.

25

2008-09-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Me!

Fetish Retinue

2008-09-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

I attended The Baroness' last Fetish Retinue of the season as a latex lovely, as some of you might remember. Here, you can see a rare photo of Miss Eliza in which she is actually... smiling. (I smile quite a lot in actual life, but cameras bring out scowls and sexy mugging for some reason.)

I reprised my role last night for the first Fetish Retinue of the new season (no photos of that just yet.) A good time was had by all. M tagged along and Miss Victoria X made an appearance. Mistress Leona Stern was also there to take part in the Latex Lovely Competition, so there were quite a few familiar faces in the crowd.

The FRs are the exception to my "I don't do public fetish parties" rule. Maybe it's because everyone looks so fabulous. Anyway, they're the first Sunday of every month: I shall probably be at quite a few of them (especially once I get my white latex catsuit!)

Woo!

2008-09-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

I decided to make the spare bedroom in my apartment into a play space and am all kinds of excited about it! I'm looking at a bondage bed with folding legs that can either stand on its own or be suspended from the ceiling. Also, already picked out a color scheme and am looking around for fun little accent furniture pieces.

I got so excited about the in-home dungeon plans that I had to buy something. (Don't ask me why I do that... when I'm happy, I feel the need to spend money.) So I decided to order buttplugs. I had sort of abandoned professional anal play all together, unless clients had their own toys. (Which, I realize isn't always possible: those who are married often don't want to have to conceal a butt toy at home.) I'm not a fan of rubber plugs, since you can't ever disinfect them; even using condoms, it squicked me out to have them. But this brand of plug is made of Pyrex glass, so I can disinfect them to my little heart's content. I also think they're quite pretty.

While I was at it, I also ordered a vinyl bodysuit. (I really want to own a comfortable vinyl outfit. Ironically, my waist cincher is the most comfy bit of vinyl that I currently own.)

Other than that, things are chugging along. I'm set to make some videos this month (yay!) So there's that to look forward to: I might do a little Clips4sale thing to tide you guys over while the big Members SIte is in progress.

Things You Might Not Know About Miss Eliza

2008-09-03T12:56:00.001-07:00

I like themed ringtones. A lot.
For the past few months, it's been Mr. Telephone Man. (Get it? The telephone is ringing! So...Mr. Tele-- yeah, you get the idea.)

Now it's this little ditty.

Get it? Cuz I'm a Dom... and... bitches.

Tee hee.

Dear E

2008-09-01T11:50:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I was out of things to talk about, the writing gods intervened with a well-timed e-mail. A conscientious submissive from upstate wants to know...

Dear Mistress Eliza,

I know that a lot of professional dominatrixes have to say that they like a lot of activities. But how can I tell if she is really into my scene? How do I make the session fun for us both?

- Willing to Please in Syracuse, NY

Dear Willing to Please,

That's the million dollar question!
I would suggest looking for ladies who specialize in your favorite activities (which you haven't listed.) Usually, when a domme says that she specializes in something, it's a nice way of saying that these are the things she enjoys!

Compatibility is key. If you are a kinkster who enjoys high protocol, you probably won't want to approach a lady who is less keen on it. Conversely, if you cannot control giggling during scene, you may want to shy away from the dominatrix who refuses to allow any unauthorized utterances from submissives.

It also helps immensely to be an active player. If you are interested in the scene and provide feedback to the scene that she sets up, she is much more likely to have a good time. And, of course, there are the little things such as showing up on time for your session, not quibbling over tribute, being clean, etc that go a long way!

So there you have it.
If YOU have a question, feel free to write it in at MistressEliza@gmail.com. It makes blogging a bajillion times easier, and allows me to help a submissive in need!

Achoo

2008-08-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

M and I are lovingly sharing a cold, so I guess I'll be next available Sunday/Monday-ish.

My throat is scratchy and I've used nearly every tissue in the box. I'm going back to bed.

And On the Eighth Day, He Created Dominatrices

2008-08-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a submissive man I know, and he admitted to having been afraid of Pro Dommes before meeting any. He was, in fact, terrified to call one up for an appointment, because he thought that coming in to play would mean giving up all control to a maniacal harpy wielding whips and chains.

He's not the only one who thinks that... it kind of boggles my mind when I think of how the rest of the world thinks of sex workers. When I danced, people often found it difficult to understand how the dorky English major and the stilettoed topless minx co-existed in the same mind and body. And now that I'm a Professional Dominant, plenty of people are shocked to find that the soft-spoken young woman in the pretty dress is Miss Eliza.

Their expectation really speaks to the disconnect that most people have with their sexuality: they think it either has to be repressed or just allowed to run wild 24/7. I mean, when I meet someone who is a lawyer, I don't expect that they will always be wearing a suit or that they will feel compelled to shout "Objection!" in casual conversation. I don't expect a plumber to walk around knocking on pipes and twiddling faucets in his free time. So why would a sex worker always be in mode? It's like they think we come from some fucked up, bizarro universe in which you are always exactly as your job description dictates you should be.

Pro Dommes are women. Plain and simple. We grew up in the same world as everyone else. We're not some third gender or species of humanity imported from Mars.

Honest.

What's Cooler than being Cool?

2008-08-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

He's blindfolded, bound at the wrists, the rope tied to the showerhead that juts out from the tiled wall. I pour ice into the tub and watch him shift from side to side as the cubes clatter against the white porcelain and collect at his feet. I turn the faucet and cold water takes the whole thing up an inch.

He shivers as I numb his ass with cubes. At first, they melt quickly into his warm flesh. After the first few, it takes longer to wear them down.

I scratch the cooled skin.
Then I strike, over and over with vampire gloves. Quick, sharp blows.
His skin blossoms: a grid of tiny, circular blood spots.

I tell him to sit in the cold water, and watch the blood wash away.
Turn the showerhead on and watch it run down his arms.

The way his lips quiver makes me want to kiss them.

Instead, I place ice cubes into his hands. Close his fingers around them.
He sucks in his breath, as if they were being burned: It's funny how both ends of the spectrum feel so much alike.

I hit him with the overhead faucet again.
The water runs over his head and collects in his long eyelashes, like tears.

Photo Fun

2008-08-25T22:22:00.000-07:00

Lull

2008-08-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

Wow... this is probably the first time in a long time that I've gone so long without posting. Things are quiet as Labor Day approaches. Even though I'm not in school anymore, I still think of September as the start of something new. I like to spend the first week replenishing my pens and pencils, picking out a new datebook, organizing my desk, searching for Fall shoes: old habits die hard.

I am glad to be staying put for a while. M and I have been on the go every week for quite some time, and it has temporarily cured my wanderlust. I really don't know how other ladies manage cross-country and international tours! I'm pooped from just a little jaunt on the west coast and some east coast wandering.

So yes, life is quiet at the moment. I'm looking into new toys, bracing myself for my upcoming birthday (the big 2-5!) and generally coasting along. I'm trying out some new play techniques, so there should be some fun session post coming up over the next few weeks. Stay tuned.

On the go

2008-08-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

Man, when vacation is over, it is over. I spent the past two days in a flurry of activity: between scenes, grocery shopping and trolling the hardware store for session goodies, I barely noticed the jetlag.

This week, I saw a favorite client return, and met a new one. I tried out some new sensory dep tactics, and am looking into getting myself a singletail. Exciting stuff.

Now, I've got to run downtown for books and toys and coffee with friends. Ciao!

Frisco & Floating

2008-08-17T16:21:00.000-07:00

San Francisco was lovely: the weather was cool and a provided a welcome respite from New York's sweltering heat. (Can't say the same thing about Napa, however! If there hadn't been wine to lure me out, I would have spent that leg of the trip in a bathtub full of cold water.)

I also enjoyed getting to play on the west coast for the first time: special thanks to the gentlemen who made that possible!

Floating World was interesting. I got a chance to sit in on some cool workshops and found a few toys along the way. The search for a singletail didn't work out, but I'll be combing the internet in search of one over the next week.

So anyhow... I'm back.
For those of you who tried to set up a NYC session while I was away, I have spots for Monday, Wednesday and Thursday: I suggest getting in early.

I'll Be Your Mistress Tonight...

2008-08-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

Who Loves Ya, Baby?

2008-08-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am on vacation.
No, I am not blogging while relaxing. I pre-composed and scheduled this post to appear while I was away, in order to prevent Miss Eliza withdrawal.

Ain't I sweet?
___________________________________

He lays on his back.
I bind his legs, calves to backs of thighs, with twine. A spreader bar keeps everything open. Vulnerable.

His wrists are lashed together in front.

His head is wrapped in tape from forehead to upper lip. Half of an empty toilet paper roll is stuffed into his mouth.

I slide a vibrating plug into his ass.
Tweak one nipple. Then the other.
Beat his thighs red.
I turn the vibration off, then put it back on later. He moans.
When he moans too much, I lean over and suck air from the tube. He hyperventilates. Gasps. Moans again.
Repeat.

I let my mouth fill with saliva.
He's begging between deep breaths. Please.

The spit drops in slow motion. Heavy.
Slides down his cock.
His hands are so close.

Please.

Last Call

2008-08-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have some last-minute availability for early-ish Thursday sessions: after that, I won't be taking any more appointments in NYC until the 18th.

San Francisco, here I come!

Why I Get So Pissy Sometimes

2008-08-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

I don't complain because I hate my job.
I don't complain because I hate men.

I love my job.
And Jehovah, Muhammad and Shiva know I love me some men.

I complain because people don't expect more from me.
Sometimes, they expect so little from me, it's hard to get them to accept more.

I get calls everyday from people who request, essentially, bullshit. Stuff any ole body could do.
And they want bullshit because they expect bullshit. And they expect bullshit because there's a whole lot of it out there.

I don't want to give you bullshit. I want to give you a piece of me. A piece of what makes me tick.

As our dumbass president once put it -- creepily and with that oh-so-familiar stupid look on his face -- I want to practice my love. I want the room to be thick with tension, the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up. I want you to groan, to let go, to beg me to stop, to beg me never to stop.

And all I ask is that you come correct.
Respectful. Curious. Open.

Give a little bit. Get a whole helluva lot.

Random Photo

2008-08-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

Sunday Evening

2008-08-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

He's been vertically hogtied-- with bright white cotton ropes -- to kneel on the rug. His mouth is full of the same rope, ends lashed to his bound wrists, doing double duty as a gag and a limiter of neck motion. Eyes are sealed shut beneath several turns of glossy black bondage tape: it winds around his chin and the top of his head as well. The ears are left slightly exposed and adorned by wooden clothespins. His nipples are extra perky in their clamps, and his bound erection never flags.

It's silent except for his soft panting. I stand over him in a black bodysuit, waist cincher and heels, a lit candle in one hand. The wax dribbles down his back, then on his calf, now onto his stomach. I like the look of it: white streaks, plops, splatters against his tanned skin.

I blow out the candle, hold it beneath his face so that he can smell the extinguished flame's smoke. It makes his nostrils twitch. I run a hand through his hair, tilt his head back a little. The drool collecting in his mouth spills over a bit, down his front.

The sound of my heels fills the room as I circle him.
I eventually decide to kneel behind him; wrap my arms around him to let my nails skate over his abs. His entire midsection ripples at the touch and the clamps-- precarious from the start -- fall away. My hands move up to the bared nipples and pinch, pulse, twist and hold. He leans back, inhaling loudly, back of his head resting against my breasts.

"Breathe..."

Psyched!

2008-08-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

I am kind of beside myself this week with anticipation.

Firstly, I finally got myself an appointment at the salon for this Wednesday (which means that I will be unavailable mostly.) I'm ditching the streaks, getting back to solid black and thinking about doing some side-swept bangs. Having my hair done always makes me feel glamorous.

Secondly, there are a bazillion fantastic workshops going on over at The Floating World. (If you go, be sure to come by and say hello to me!) So excited about the Japanese bondage course. And the singletail workshop: I'm probably buying one while out there. And definitely adding hemp to my rope collection. Oh, and there are some suspension workshops too! I'm going to come back wanting to try all sorts of things on you guys!

Thirdly, San Francisco is gonna rock. M picked a kickass hotel that is gonna be great fun to session in.

:)

Upcoming Shoots

2008-07-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

I have to admit to being VERY excited about the upcoming photoshoots. When I return from vacation on the 17th, the photographic madness begins!

Client Talk

2008-07-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

It's really interesting the way you learn to "hear" potential clients. After answering my own phone for many months, I can usually tell if an inquiry call is going to go well or not within the first couple of seconds. Nine times out of ten.

The most common bad call goes like this: (to be read in an Archie Bunker voice)

Hey, is, uh... Miss Leeza/Ezra(???) there? Is this her? Yeah, are you available in like, an hour? I like to be dominated. Y'know, with the strap-on there.

The red flags?
*Doesn't bother to introduce himself. No offer of a name at all.
*Can't be bothered to get my name right.
*Wants an immediate session, which implies that he doesn't care about preparation and probably doesn't value what I do: it's so simple, I'll just swing on by!
*Asks for strap-on, so clearly did not read my ad.

Then there's the creepy caller. He starts out well enough, until:

Yes, so do you work alone? Independent, you say? Oh... a commercial studio? Oh...Does that mean there will be other people around? [I'll clarify that he will only deal with me: I'll answer the door and show him to our space.] Oh. Well, I thought it would be in your apartment. Yes, I guess a dungeon would be better equipped... but hey, we can do it at your place, and you can save money, right? No rental fee.

The red flags?
*Jesus, Joseph and Mary. Predator, anyone? I especially like the part where he tries to lure me in with the promise of more money. An extra seventy bucks isn't worth risking my life.

Oh, and the breathless admirer!

I just love you, Miss Eliza! You're so wonderful. So beautiful and smart too! You're a total goddess. Do you ever think about having a live-in slave? No? Well, I would be only too happy to serve you, Mistress. Oh, you're so marvelous.

The red flags?
*You'd think that this guy would be all set to make an appointment, right? Wrong! The breathless admirer never sessions. Ever. He just wanted to tell you how much he adores you, in the hopes that you'll magically begin accepting compliments as tribute. The breathless admirer tends to be breathlessly admiring of anyone with a vagina and a crop.

There are also fun little phrases that always precede certain sentiments. For instance,
when someone is talking to me and they say:

Oh, I hope you won't mind me saying... OR I'm not trying to be funny, but...

It's usually followed up by a racial stereotype. I.e., "I'm not trying to be funny, but I've always heard that black women are the best at spankings."

I'm not really into pain or anything like that...

Usually ends in a request for "sensual domination" or "a straight session."

And of course, there's my favorite:

I'd really like to see you, but...

Usually ends with a request for a deep discount.

Humility

2008-07-30T22:40:00.001-07:00

One lesson that I'm working on is that of humility.

Over the past few weeks, I've been privileged to spend time in the presence of several dominas that I've admired from afar. Sometimes, working on my own gets a tad isolating. Sometimes I start buying into my own ad copy (ha!) and develop a case of Domme-itis. But there's nothing like watching someone who really has everything under control do her thing to make you realize that you're still a kid who has got a lot to learn.

And it's actually not a total bummer to admit that I'm still a work-in-progress. Part of the reason I love what I do is that there's so much room for growth: there's always some other skill to learn or some new gadget to discover or a new approach to take.

Becoming more kickass in time is something to look forward to, right? ;)

2008-07-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

You know you're in the right line of work when dreaming about your job gets you hot.

He isn't one particular man: just a body. I wind rope across his chest, under his arms. Thread the ropes through the center loop of a suspension bar and tie the ends to a large, trapezoidal weight. He is forced up on his toes.

I walk all around him, tying limbs and securing weights. After a while, I'm ducking and weaving through taut ropes pulled at all angles. Somehow, through the magic of dream physics, we end up with a pulley system.

He's a naked marionette, toes barely grazing the floor.
He moves however I want him to.

Star Search: The Submissive Edition

2008-07-28T22:25:00.001-07:00

Alright, fellas.
Production is soon to begin on the website videos, and I'm looking for a few good men.

Are you...
A masochist?
A lover of ropes?
A medical fiend?
Not camera shy?

Then drop me an e-mail.

MistressEliza@gmail.com

Do include a photo (face and body, NOT cock.)
Also include your interests, experience level and stats (height, weight, etc.) Do be sure to mention why you think we'd be a good fit as on-screen play partners.

Submissives who take part in the filming receive a free year-long membership to the site. Woo!

Playing Outside

2008-07-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

Exploring public scenes is definitely something that I enjoy.
At first, I thought that it would be most satisfying to be blatant about it: forcing someone to wear an obvious collar at dinner, stuff like that. But I find that it's the more subtle play that I like best.

I like sitting at the table, watching his responses to the things I do and having everyone else be oblivious. It's like getting away with something. Sharing a delicious secret, hidden in plain sight.

I'm currently planning a scene for my upcoming trip to San Fran that will start out with some public play before going private. I guess it feeds into my hunger for things being less dark and shadowy: I like the idea of kink being something that can see the light of day.

It's occurred to me to offer a lite version of Dinner & Domination (which is generally a little over 3 hours long, starts with dinner and ends with studio play.) Maybe Drinks & Domination? Something a little shorter... maybe with an optional elaborate roleplay scenario. Hmm.

See Ya Monday

2008-07-26T01:37:00.000-07:00

There can be no sessions until Monday, July 28th.

Enjoy the weekend!

The Perks of Pre-Booking

2008-07-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

It's something that I can not stress enough:

BOOK AHEAD OF TIME.

One day will do.

Yes, I know, you want to be spontaneous.
You want to do it NOW.

The thing is... I don't have sessions in the fridge, waiting to be nuked for thirty seconds before being placed before you.

And if I did, would you want them?

D/s Meet and Greet: They Showed Me

2008-07-22T09:16:00.000-07:00

At first I was afraid (I was petrified) to go to the party. My experience with any gathering involving submissives looking for Dommes was that I would spend the evening not being attended to so much as having my attention (and feet) jockeyed for. The heatwave was tightening its sweaty grip on the city and I was simply not in the mood. Several times that evening, I swore that I would cancel and spend the evening eating ice cubes in front of the air conditioner... before good manners compelled me to dress and head uptown at the appointed time.

When I walked in, I half-expected to find a row of men on their knees. It wouldn't have surprised me if there had been a pedicure in progress.

But what I walked into was... a normal party.
For the first time, I didn't feel the need to give submissive men as wide a berth as possible (which would have been difficult with all of us contained in the living room.) No one dropped to their knees and declared their undying love for me or my toes. The conversation was great AND my glass was quietly kept full when I wanted it to be, and taken away when I didn't: now that's how I wish all submissive men would act.

Thank You

2008-07-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank neel for the lovely purple outfit:

Thank you to G for the silver outfit (I'll feel like an intergalactic domina!):

And thank you, P, for the nose hooks:

I will be doing shoots for the members section in the outfits in August, so neel and G will receive sneak peeks at the photosets.

P, of course, gets to break in the nose hooks.

Oops, I didn't know we couldn't talk about...

2008-07-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget that I'm a freak.

But, y'know, what seems really weird to me is the idea that people are happy to be completely vanilla. I'm not knocking vanilla sex: it's good stuff. Classic. But... how many times can you hump someone? And only hump them?

Any other time that people favor the physical over the mental, we chide them.
A bimbo gets by on her body.
A thug gets by on brute strength.

But people who combine mind and body when they fuck are... deviants?

As a sidenote: am I the only one who wishes Fetish clubs looked like this video? Monochromatic and bright? (Imagine the bar: all glossy white and silver chrome with a neon light emanating up from it.) Most people wear black or very vibrant colors, so there'd be plenty of contrast happening when people arrived. So over the dark basement.

Can we try playing in the light?

Torture

2008-07-18T10:54:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's all the Gitmo headlines, but I am lately into the idea of... I guess you'd call it institutionalized torture? The consensual version, of course. I've been playing a bit with waterboarding. Anything involving water and/or tiled bathrooms really. Recently, I did a scene in a shower. All it took was rope, cold water, a blindfold, a hairbrush, a par of vaimpire gloves and a bag of ice. I find myself wishing for a giant shower room. Maybe with mint green tiles. (Don't ask me why mint green... the appeal is incomprehensible, even to me.)

And I keep popping over to medical sites to ogle their tan leather restraints. I know most people like leather or latex straitjackets, but... the traditional canvas ones lend such an element of authenticity.

Surely someone must have some secrets that need to be... coaxed out of them?

Early Influences: Selma Hayek

2008-07-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

Here we get a femme fatale combined with Tarantino's notorious foot fetish AND violence.

What young girl wouldn't want to dance around with a snake and pour liquor down her legs into a dude's mouth before he gets his hand viciously stabbed?

Sugasm 140

2008-07-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #141? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

“Are you a sex blogger or a sexy blogger?”

“It builds a community that I am so proud to be part of.”

The J Word

“And while you’re with her, I’ll be with him.”

Transcending moment

”It’s that place between fear and arousal, and they are so very closely related.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice

Chill Pleasure

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish

Bathroom bang

Bros Not Hoes - F/m Spanking Video Clip

Cock training

Galerías de spanking: Spanking Server

Games Grown Ups Play

The Most Amazing Sex (and I didn’t come)

Mr. and Mrs. Kink Have Great Sex (Again)

My First Ever Fetish Photography Shoot & Other Wonderful Things

New spanking gallerie - Two girls spanked

Religion and BDSM

Rope

TES Fest 2008 was fabulous!

Your Slut

Sex Advice

Ask Miss Bliss-How Do I Know If A Girl Likes Me?

Fetish Safety - Branding

The Kivin Method: Guaranteed Orgasm for Women

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Advanced Exhibitionism

Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 2

Club Tantra: My Experience, Unabridged

Distraction

Fucking no foreplay

Getting to fuck the neighbor 9

Him

HNT - Peach

Insanity never felt so good

Interludes - part 1

Memoir Of A Married Woman

Popping His Cherry

Re: Dinner Last Night

“Red Bottoms” (Complete)

Sloppy Seconds, Then Thirds

That Time of the Month

Whiskey Kisses (unedited)

Sex Work

Sex Worker Solidarity: Catalina

Happy Thoughts on Being a Phonesex Op…

Stamp on my forehead saying “ask me about your fetish”

Sex & Politics

Natalia Antonova on Objectification and Desire

Teen Sex: The New After-School Special?

Women Enjoy Relative Sexual Freedom this 4th of July

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Bedroom Radio #18: Artemis Hunter and the Silver Bullet

Calstar Spanking - Severe deep stripe marks

Cheerleader is tired in gangbang video

Free video audition of Amsterdam sex performer

Half-Nekkid and Getting Shaved

HNT - A bit cheeky

HNT - Purple Lace

Making Love to the Camera

Mz Berlin Took This Picture Of Herself In Her New Wasp Creation Corset

Sex Humor

Top 6 Reasons for Not Shaving Your Beaver

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Catalina loves Lochai

Comstock Films

Drink Semen for Better Health

Interview about spanking erotica with Spanked contributor Teresa Noelle Roberts

January Seraph Is A Hot Femdom Dominating Jade Indica In Lesbian Latex Role Play

The Monday Buzz: The Bandito

Penny Flame Fucks A Handyman With A Strap-On and Feeds Him His Own Cum

Product Research: Blow Job Dildo

Yes! Yes! Yes! Personal Lubricant

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Be nice… until it is time to not be nice…

Finding out your good friends are swingers

Naughty Text Messages and Perverted Friends Makes Life Fun

Sex Advice Review: “Tips to Better Sex and Sleep”

Silence.

A Bit About the Phone

2008-07-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, certain issues must be addressed every so often...

If you have been attempting to reach me, but find that the phone always rings only once before going straight to voicemail, you are probably on my Block List. If you were a no-show, the only way to renew your chances of seeing me is to pre-pay the amount for your next appointment + half of the tribute for the appointment you missed. You must handle this arrangement by e-mail.

If you call and I never pick up, you are probably calling from a Private number. Dial *82 before my number to correct this.

I answer the phone with "Hello" or "Hello, Miss Eliza speaking." The following responses are not acceptable:

"Hey, you workin' tonight?"
"Where are you?"
"How much?"

Try "Hello, my name is ________. I am calling to inquire about a session." Or something along those lines. I never hang up on anyone for saying that.

Finally, please do not contact me on my business line with inquiries concerning subjects not related to Professional Domination. No requests for dates. No requests for personal servitude. I try to be professional, and am only asking others to respond in kind.

Thank You,
Management

Muah

2008-07-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

One side of his face is pressed against the leather of the horse's cushioned top. His wrists are lashed together, the ends of the ropes knotted through the O-rings protruding from the horse's legs. I've left him ungagged, but he wears a blindfold.

I press my pelvis against his raw ass, heat radiating between them. Vampire gloves cover each of my hands, and they slide along the sides of his torso, leaving trails of red as they go.

I lean forward and bring my lips to his back; part them and breathe out for a second before biting down and sucking. He squirms as I repeat the process on one spot after another. By the time I straighten up, his back is littered with red, mouth-shaped marks.

Even my kisses sting.

A Good One

2008-07-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

One of the most influential people in my career thus far, was a client I had as an in-house domme. We started sessioning together around the time that quitting was on my mind. Before going Professional, I had little experience with the "standard" BDSM formula. I knew enough about it to find it hard to see myself-- petite and low-voiced with an aversion to red lipstick -- as a dominant. (Which is why I first tried to identify as a sub: I figured a tiny woman with a quiet voice and a round bottom had to be submissive.) Once I realized that the prevailing formula -- yell, stomp around, smack his face, repeat, then finish with body worship -- wasn't for me, I figured I'd prepare to make an exit. The whole thing seemed to be an hour-long diversion designed to distract from the fact that there was no actual connection between the domme and sub.

He introduced me to another way of playing professionally: elevated my expectations so that I had something to which to aspire.

Initially, they were switch sessions. I'd pro switched before, and generally found myself spending 30 minutes saying "No, you can not touch me there," "No, you can not order me to blow you," or having to safeword out because they thought topping meant trying to whip the bottom senseless.

When I arrived at his home, he offered me wine and we chatted. Got to know each other as people. Then we talked about our play experiences, each got a feel for what the other liked. He never raised his voice. Never tried to force his hands where they were not wanted. We never needed to establish a safeword because he could intuit when I was uncomfortable and had no inclination to push me to a point of actual, not-fun distress.

I didn't have to grovel: he would never have wanted that.
For the first time, I got it: why someone might want to submit to another. And it had nothing to do with empty flattery or kneeling. He wanted my submission because I had value. And I wanted to do well because I thought he was funny and smart: a worthwhile person.

And he saw the beauty in everything: not just what I was wearing. He was meticulous about his ropework. About how the tools were laid out at the start. I liked the touches of ritual, of ceremony. He filled in some crucial missing blanks for me, and I tried to follow by example.

Without him, I probably would not have started striking out on my own, setting up my own appointments, and I would have quit.
I'm forever grateful.

Making Love to the Camera

2008-07-09T22:01:00.001-07:00

Here are some photos I took with the extremely talented Aeric Meredith-Goujon. He makes porn the way I think porn ought to be made: equal parts grit and glam.

Found

2008-07-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

Was going through the archives and found a bunch of photos. Here are the PG ones.

And, no, Nic isn't my real name either. :P

Kiki Gets Me Kinky and Creative

2008-07-07T21:26:00.000-07:00

Lately, I am very into gawking at the dirty pretty things over at Kiki De Montparnasse. Not only are their wares gorgeous, I love the ambiance of the place. I kind of refuse to pay $88 for a blindfold that doesn't include hidden spikes, but I have this sudden urge to create my own... maybe I'll go pick up my sewing machine and make my own satiny blindfolds. (I just typed "sex" and "sexing machine" while attempting to form that sentence: someone's Freudian slip is showing, and it's down around her ankles.)

Maybe it's the Kiki fixation, but lately I fantasize in black and white. I've often found myself spaced out at the desk, eyes glazed over while picturing M tied up with pretty braided ropes. There's a lot of shadow and contrast. And always an emphasis on the swell of his thigh muscle. Hmm. Maybe I need to try to shoot that...

It's gonna be a toss-up as to whether I come home with my sewing machine or camera (and its many lenses) tomorrow: I don't know that I can carry both at once.

2008-07-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

This weekend mostly involved running around town with M and others in various states of drunkenness. (At one point, I stood on someone else's terrace, passing around a joint. That sort of thing hasn't happened in years. Generally, I think of weed as being for kids.) It was a good time: sort of like a mini-vacation.

At one point, I thought it would be funny to go into a sex shop. Sex shops are hilarious when drunk: try reading titles like "Anal Rampage Part Six" out loud without giggling. While we did find the usual comedic goldmine, I was shocked to find that they also had some pretty cool toys. I mean, some of the floggers were better than the fare one might find in Purple Passion, and at half the price. Neither of us is big on flogging, so M and I settled on a wooden paddle. It really has an unusually nice heft to it: most of them are more lightweight than I care for.

Anyway, we had a blast. Spending the whole weekend with him really highlighted exactly why I fell for M in the first place.

In other news, I'm still working on the site: I also have a project that I'm working on for a client, so production is a little slower than usual. Sessions are back to their usual schedule, and... I guess that's all!

Happy Holiday Weekend

2008-07-03T11:41:00.001-07:00

No sessions this Friday or Saturday. Go eat BBQ, watch fireworks and take advantage of department store sales like good Americans.

Coming and Going

2008-07-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

So, I went poking around a certain message board and came across a thread discussing the whole "release" thing in sessions. A domme suggested that not all of her sessions ended with the client ejaculating -- either because it slipped her mind and time ran out, or because they were simply undeserving -- and several sub-identified posters went kinda apeshit.

It was surprising.
OK, so I wasn't shocked that they would go nuts over it and cyber fight for their right to wank. Mostly it was just really weird to read a group tantrum from grown men about masturbation.

I've never really gotten my head around the whole mandatory release thing. Maybe because I don't usually need to come after playing. When I first started out at the house, it struck me as a silly move on the client's part. It only took about two seconds to figure out that if there was a session I wanted to get over and done with -- maybe the guy was boring and Rock of Love was on in twenty minutes -- all I had to do was get him excited enough to come really quickly.

And really... it's just jerking off.
I mean, yes, masturbation is a good time. But it seems weird to me that someone would pay by the hour to go into a BDSM studio (with equipment and everything!), meet with an attractive and dominant woman... just to touch himself furtively for two minutes.

To each his own, of course. But it seems to me that if you just want to get off, there are cheaper ways to do so.

Most of the men I see don't orgasm when we play.
They could if they wanted to. But they don't.
I think that's kind of cool.

From the moment you learn about sex and its ilk, there's the idea that the whole thing is bookended by the penis becoming erect and then the penis ejaculating. Hell, some obscene percentage of the population doesn't consider sex that doesn't involve a penis to actually be sex.

And such a big deal is made about orgasming. I love orgasms, but the presence or absence of one does nothing to validate or invalidate the lovely sensations that you might experience.

I love it when I send a client into subspace, guide him back and then observe the aura of calm that radiates from him. He seems to float on his way out, taking the energy with him: something to sustain him even after we part.

The quick release guys always seemed to crash from their half-hearted fantasies, gather their belongings in a panic and beat a hasty retreat, unable to look me in the eye until the next time they booked an appointment.

Shave and a Haircut

2008-07-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the warm weather, but lately I'm slightly obsessed with the idea of cutting my hair short. I'm also itching to change up my wardrobe: I'm drawn to smoother lines, more supple fabrics. Vinyl isn't doing it for me these days.

I've also been hitting the gym several times a week, trying to watch what I eat, that sort of thing. I'm thinking of it as an overall streamlining.

In keeping with that, I've been wishing for some shaving sessions. There would be something extremely satisfying just now about removing masses of hair from a man's legs (or... back?)

Get What You Pay For

2008-06-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Over and over, on message boards and in chatrooms, the same question comes up: If Pro Dommes are genuinely into kink, why do they charge me for it? My response is always personal, but I feel that it applies to most Dominas out there:

Before I went Pro, I had kinky sex and played at home with boyfriends. I had a vanilla job that kept me occupied from morning until evening. My relationships were monogamous. Even had I been polyamorous, I still would not have had enough time or energy to play with more than a small circle of people.

I don't believe that sex workers (whether they be dommes, escorts, phone sex operators) should be paid to feign interest in their clients. When I first started out, that seemed to be the case: I got shut up in a room with a guy and had to pretend to be into whatever he was into. That's simply not what this job is about for me. Now that I work for myself, I place a lot of emphasis on playing with compatible individuals and forming a relationship with them.

The way I see it is that a client pays for:

1) My time/availability: If the session is booked from 5-6PM, that is when we will be playing. I have re-arranged plans, missed favorite TV shows, pulled myself out of a pity party, etc to go session. In a Lifestyle context, I play when I feel like it. If I feel like it.

2) Clean-up/Preparation: Ropes, body bags, sounds, vibrators and buttplugs don't wash/disinfect themselves. Session rooms also get a good cleaning afterwards. In a Lifestyle context, I leave laundering and such to the sub.

3) The Look: When you arrive for your session, I've done my hair, put on makeup and slipped into some sort of slinky or tight outfit. None of this happens by accident: gym memberships, regular salon visits, trips to Sephora and fetish clothing purchases add up. Non-professional sessions are generally conducted in a man's shirt.

4) Limits: Even with my emphasis on compatibility, not everything I like is going to be what you like, and vice versa. In a professional setting, I stick to your interests more stringently than I would otherwise.

5) Boundaries and Discretion: I'm not your mistress Mistress. I won't get jealous of your wife or call your home and make trouble.

6) My being able to play with strangers/safety: I rent space, not only because of the equipment, but because I don't want strangers in my apartment. Part of my tribute goes toward securing a safe place for us both.

What you don't/can't pay for, but get anyway:

1) Chemistry: I try to select my clients based on how well I think we'd get along from a personal standpoint. Really, this means you were polite on the phone and seemed to have a basic sense of decorum. (Hint: calling me "sweetie" or "baby" gets a refusal.)

2) Interest & Creativity: I don't want to go through the motions and you don't want a domme who finds your scene boring. When I'm excited about a scene, I come up with fun things to do.

3) Personally tailored scenes: I don't do the same things with everyone. I let our chemistry together and your reactions to things dictate the course that our play takes. With some people, I talk throughout the whole thing. With others, play is largely silent.

So, that's pretty much how the Pro Domme thing breaks down for me. I'd love to hear other people's thoughts as well...

Don't Move

2008-06-26T20:59:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I had a chance to sit in on Mistress Yin's bondage workshop. Before then, I kind of played it by ear: no finesse, no overall plan. I moved from one hasty knot to another and prayed for inspiration. In part, it was that ropes intimidated me. (Though my slacking off on reading up on the subject was equally as problematic.) It seemed as though you needed to be an amazing Boy Scout or some sort of circus folk who knew every knot ever created.

But really, I mostly use squares and surgeons.
If there's anything I learned that evening, it was that it's OK-- even preferable -- to keep it simple.

I've been practicing since then, and using bondage in more and more of my sessions. As I gained confidence, I've come to find that it's...y'know... really hot. There's something about rendering someone totally immobile. Especially when they squirm.

While my love affair with rope is far from over (I have yet to attempt suspension), I am also developing a love of body bags and metal bondage. I got a spandex body bag not long ago that has seen quite a bit of action. It's a hand wash deal, but the inconvenience of having to scrub it clean in the tub after each use is well worth it. It's like a diabolical sleeping bag! (Um... with a hole for the penis.)

As for what I'm thinking in terms of metal bondage...

It seems that I'm most attracted to things that either look very typically dungeon-in-the-dark-ages, or that involve some sort of impalement. I'm less intrigued by, say, this. I feel that she could have been put in that same position using rope... and it would have looked better.

Two Ton Feather

2008-06-25T07:17:00.000-07:00

He has been tied down, spread eagle and blindfolded, to the hotel bed for the past 45 minutes. A row of clothespins line each ball and his inner thighs are a rashy red from pinching, scratching and paddling. His nipples have already cracked and bled. The ring around his cock vibrates steadily, and he seems almost... vaguely... triumphant. Smug about having taken everything without complaint.

I take a break from flicking the clothespins and unzip my black vinyl waist cincher. His ears prick up at the sound and, even with his eyes covered, there's no hiding the flash of concern that passes over his face. He quickly suppresses it, still eager to impress me with his composure.

"What was that? Another tool?"

"Oh, nothing," I say casually. "I'm just taking off a few things."

I toss the cincher onto his leg.

"It's kind of warm in here, y'know?"

I slip my bra off and press it against his face.

I watch his face go slack. When he speaks again, his voice cracks in all the worst places, and every ounce of pretense is shattered.

"Please. Oh, please. Can I-can you take the blindfold off? Mistress?"

He brings to mind a cartoon character loaded with a mountain of objects-- a baby grand piano, tables, a car or two -- who finally succumbs to the weight with the addition of a single feather.

I laugh.

Sneak Peak

2008-06-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

A graphic from the site expansion.

Oooooo. Ahhhhh.

:)

2008-06-24T11:53:00.000-07:00

It's raining out, and I'm in a good mood.

One

2008-06-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Late June marks my One Year Anniversary as a Pro Domme.

Just think... a year ago, I started out with personal play experience, a single satin corset and not a lick of rope bondage knowledge.

Now I'm slipping into latex, stuffing people in body bags and piercing flesh.

Not bad, eh?

San Francisco - August 2008

2008-06-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

OK. So all you folks on the West coast who were wondering when I'd be coming your way: I will be in town this August.

Now, this is more of a fun vacation than a working one, but I will be taking a few appointments. Basically, I want them to be ones that I would really really enjoy, because San Fran is my happy place. So, if you're down for any of this stuff:

Corporal - Bondage - Sensory Deprivation - Wax/Ice Play - Nipple Torture - CBT - Ballbusting - Humiliation - Sounds - Play Piercing - Infantilism - Trampling - Foot/Shoe/Leg Worship - Light Wrestling - Scratching - Transformative Crossdressing - Shaving - Fetishes (Latex/Leather/etc) - Obedience Training - Financial Domination - Dinner & Domination

We might be able to session!
I will, of course, post a reminder as the date draws nearer.

Show Me Your Surrender

2008-06-19T12:36:00.001-07:00

What I want... need is surrender.
Not the promise of it.
Not a laundry list of what you'll do (and what you won't.)

True story:
M called me many months ago and said "Hello, my name is M. I like X,Y,Z. Would you be available later?"
I said, "Yes! I like X,Y,Z too!"
Then he showed up at the appointed time and we did X,Y,Z. And it was good.

No sonnets. No three-page e-mails.

And now, when I feel him go limp in a hogtie or watch his leg quiver after a particularly good beating, I know all that I need to know.

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

2008-06-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

OK, so I am working on the paysite in earnest now. (The splash is all set up and I'm putting the first photosets together!) Before I shoot more stuff and/or make final decisions on what to include, YOU can have your say.

Take a 4-question survey.

More Photos

2008-06-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

Cuz I'm kinda busy working on geeky website stuff, just have a look at some other shots.

Livin' on the Edge

2008-06-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm not big on following a TV show week-to-week; unless it's a stupid reality show that re-airs the same thing a million times, I can't manage to keep up. Instead, I watch whole seasons of programs on DVD. Recently, I finally got around to watching the first 13 episodes of "Dexter".

I was never really drawn to scalpels before... but I definitely am now! (I never totally outgrew the if-they-do-it-on-TV-it-must-be-awesome phase of childhood.) There's a lot of taping people down to tables and gagging them with rags, which I also like. It got me thinking about play piercing again. (Luckily, I got to pierce a nipple this past weekend! Exciting!)

I might need to order some needles. And search around for some scalpel workshops...

Rooftop

2008-06-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos that I took yesterday that won't be used in the ads...

Yes. It's Really Me.

2008-06-11T11:43:00.001-07:00

I don't know what is going on, but lately, people have really started grilling me concerning my photos. Nearly every call has involved the question of whether or not they're genuinely and accurately me.

So, for the record, yes. Those are my pictures. If they look professional, it's because I shoot with professional photographers. (That's the nice thing about being an art model: you meet a lot of talented people who will gladly take your dominatrix pictures.)

And really, what would a fake picture get me, other than a lot of rightfully disappointed men?

Speaking of photos, I shall be taking some new ones tomorrow. Exciting!

Tailored Humiliation

2008-06-10T12:35:00.000-07:00

I am the eldest of four: which means that three boys spent their early childhoods being tormented and emasculated by me.

If I learned anything about teasing and humiliation, it's that they can be a million times more effective when made personal. For instance, one of my brothers was once confused by the idea that it could be dark at night and in the morning (during winter). He'd just started going to preschool, and had to be woken up early enough that it was still dark out. Apparently, they don't teach you how to tell time in preschool, because he had no concept of that yet. Sometimes he would take a nap after school, so if he was out for an hour or two, the sun would start to set and BAM! Instant fake morning.

Ever the loving sister, I would put my school uniform back on, wake him up at 6PM and tell him it was time to get up for school. Just for giggles. The horrified look on his face was worth repeatedly getting in trouble for.

When another brother became old enough to be embarrassed about girls, I would get his class photo out and point to various girls, insisting he was in love with them. These accusations sometimes came with dramatic verbal "re-creations" of classroom love scenes that never actually happened. (Lots of declarations of love, mention of "girrrrrrrrrrrrlfriends" and kissy noises.) Generally, this would continue until he was shamed enough to cry for our mother. Also well worth getting in trouble for.

Anyway, the point is that each tactic was tailor-made for each brother's personality. I think it's a lot more fun than the usual one-size-fits-all stuff people are after. (Most of which turns me off, as it's not actually funny or sexy.) And I think it's pretty nice to have a relationship with someone that grows to the point where you know how to really dig into them. It keeps things interesting; and I'm definitely more fun to play with when kept amused.

Someone is probably going to be getting some of these for a tailor-made teasing scene. Innocent stickers to you... the beginnings of a torturous scene to someone else.

Houseboy

2008-06-08T10:16:00.001-07:00

So, I've decided that it's about time that I got myself a houseboy. M is definitely not the domestic type -- last week, I had to walk him through the process of preparing cookies from pre-made, refrigerated dough -- and while I don't mind doing little daily maintenance activities, I hate scrubbing and mopping.

It's my first time going through this process... but I feel like what I'm looking for is someone who values service as a reward in and of itself. And if they also happen to enjoy pain and humiliation, that's a plus. So far, I've not been terribly impressed by any of the applications. I put up a notice on Collarme.com and... it's not going so well. There was someone who referred to himself as a house elf, and to M and me as the Prince and Princess in need of having their castle cleaned. (Hey, even I have some dorky fantasies... it's knowing not to announce them to everyone and anyone that makes the difference.)

Someone else turned me off by saying that he "expected" me to be very bitchy and demanding. He also "expected" that M would hide when he came over to clean. I don't like to be "expected" to do things by people who are actually in authority, let alone someone who is supposed to be serving me. And I also don't want to have to stand over anyone's shoulder the whole time. (Really, I might as well do it myself if that's the case.) He also sent a whiney follow-up e-mail, which made me feel that I'd made the right decision by not contacting him.

Another applicant seemed like a normal enough person, but made reference to "money-grubbing hos" on his profile. Misogynists need not apply.

So, if you're reading this and you're interested in being my houseboy, here are some hints and ground rules:

1) Don't get all high protocol in the query e-mail. It's not that serious. "Dear Miss Eliza," is fine. I don't need to be Your Majesty, Illustrious One, or any of that. You needn't grovel. A normally polite tone will more than suffice.

2) If you can't be a houseboy in the presence of another dude, or without me being encased in latex, then don't bother.

3) Don't lie. I don't care if you're married. Or if you don't like pain. If you can clean and are reliable, that's all I care about.

Hope that helps: I need to read some better e-mails!

New Attitude

2008-06-06T09:38:00.000-07:00

It started with the frenzied attempt to find Estelle's dress somewhere online, and ended with a tiny retail freakout.

The same night, I ordered a black suit, which arrives in a week or so. Yesterday, I went to Purple Passion and picked up a HOT red outfit. Really, it looks awesome. M melted. The motivation I'd been building up to go to the gym is shot now, because I dig what an extra five pounds, spread throughout the right places, can do to spandex.

Anyway, it's part of the new regime: more clothes, less... garter belts. In my ads, at least. Blame the wankers.

I've got to go arrange photoshoots now.

Where Can I Get This?

2008-06-04T08:09:00.001-07:00

Quick! Who knows where I can get the dress Estelle is wearing in the "American Boy" video? Or who designed it? Or where there are good knock-offs to be had? I NEED a feathered halter dress. Immediately.

She also might be prompting a haircut.

656

2008-06-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

As of today, there are 656 listings for escorts on the NYC Eros advertising site.

That's over 600 opportunities to meet and be intimate with a woman.

Over 600 women in the NYC area would be happy to have sex with you, sit on your face and/or allow you to "worship" their anus and genitals.

SO QUIT ASKING ME!!!

I've gotten the weirdest array of calls since changing my photos. (Eros puts you on the "What's New!" page, and it garners a bit of attention.) There were the usual stupid requests: would I sit on their face? Do I allow extensive body worship/anal lickage? My ad says nothing about facesitting. Or licking my behind. It says that I like to hit people. And tie them up. There's also mention of medical scenes. Then I list everything I like. Maybe I should take photos where I am doing those things: maybe I should also hold a little sign that says "This is what I like to do!" in the photo. Because obviously, many people don't bother to do anything but look at the images.

My favorite call was from a man who immediately announced he was not at all into that S&M stuff. There was a silence after that declaration, as I pondered why a totally vanilla man would call a Dominatrix.

"Uh... so what else do you do?"

"...how do you mean?"

"I mean, besides the S&M."

"I'm a Dominatrix, so... that's all I do."

People would not feel justified in going to a French restaurant, disregarding the menu and asking what else they had. I know you do escargot and coq au vin, but I'd like to order a chicken burrito. So why is it that if you're a sex worker, there's this assumption that you'll just do whatever?

And isn't that a ridiculous way to go about getting a sexual service? There are 656 listings for what you want... but you call the one listing for something that doesn't interest you at all, in hopes of getting what over 600 listings are already offering.

I don't get it.

Fetish Retinue

2008-06-02T07:49:00.000-07:00

I had a great time at The Baroness' party: she is quite the personality! I was there as a "latex lovely," and got to wear this, but with a mini skirt.

I had the opportunity to meet a devoted reader of the blog: he was a very good drink fetcher. (So good that now I'm typing this from bed, with the blinds shut!) Miss Victoria X came out as well. I bumped into Mistresses Sakura and Althea-Lynn, two ladies from Le Salon De Sade, and also had a chance to chat with Dante Posh.

A few people were spanked. Nipples were clamped. Vodka was consumed. A good night!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!!!

2008-05-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

This Sunday night at 8, The Baroness is throwing the last Fetish Retinue of the season. The theme is "Uniforms." See the announcements in the sidebar for links and such.

I shall be there before the doors open, until around Midnight, I imagine. That's a window of FOUR HOURS. Dress up, come by and say hello. (If you don't have a uniform, all-black is fine.)

Novice

2008-05-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

I weave a body harness onto him with white rope, and thread the leftover ends through a suspension bar's O-rings. I crank it up as high as it can go: he's new, so his feet remain on the floor.

His wrists are tied in front.
His cock and balls are also bound; it's apparent from the clear string of liquid making its way from the tip to the floor, that it's a pretty exciting experience for him.

First there comes the echo of flesh against flesh, as I warm him up with my hand. By the time we get to the crop, he's beginning to sway.

He leans back on his heels in a seated position, supported by the harness.
I step up close behind him, wrap one arm around his front and tweak his nipples, one after the other.
He breathes in. Out.

Ditz

2008-05-28T15:38:00.001-07:00

I feel kind of out of it ever since coming back from vacation. I'm all fuzzy and Hiltonesque. And restless. Last night, I couldn't stop fidgeting, then rolled all over M (boyfriend and personal sub extraordinaire) and kept insisting on having my back rubbed. I think he massaged me about six different times.

Random bit of news: I also received a phonecall from the casting agents at Bad Girls Club. That reality show on one of the women's channels. They sent me an application to fill out, but after reading it, I decided that I don't need to be rehabilitated. I like the things that make me a so-called bad girl. What's a woman without an edge? And anyway, I'd be away for months and several men would have heart attacks. Plus, M barely survived ten days in chastity. I'm not mean enough to do that to him.

Since I'm not going to be a reality TV star, I'm working on the member's thing again. I'd stopped when being a Pro Domme got frustrating... but it's back on now. All I know is that all you people who sent e-mails or called asking about it had better get memberships when the time come for the unveiling.

Anyway, I've got to go take a nap before dinner now. Maybe that will clear my head.

Sensory Overload

2008-05-26T21:55:00.001-07:00

Despite not being much of a swimmer (I can't even float!), I adore beach vacations. New York has its own sex appeal: sound, lights, crackling energy. But I can't deny the charm of an island. It's the breeze on your cheek, the smell of warm skin and sunscreen lotion; kisses that taste faintly of sand and the salt of the sea. And what's sexier than falling asleep to the sound of the waves outside?

I had a really great time!

Vacation

2008-05-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

I'm heading out to the beach, but will be back on Tuesday. I shall be incommunicado until then.

Web Dork

2008-05-19T21:22:00.000-07:00

If you're a Pro Domina or other sex worker looking for a website or other related items, you might wanna check this out.

Night Number Six

2008-05-18T23:36:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly a week since his last orgasm, and another four days loom ahead.

Someone's becoming a bit whiney.

I help him out of his clothes and tie a quick harness around his waist: the rope loops down around his balls and comes up in the back, between his cheeks. He's going to sleep in it overnight. Before he retreats into the bedroom, I laughingly bind his hand to what seems like a neverending erection.

He laughs.

Then whimpers.

Female Supremacy

2008-05-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

I personally find the female supremacy thing silly, rather than sexy. It sort of falls under the same umbrella as race play: I don't want to be submitted to because of characteristics over which I have no control. I didn't ask to be born black or female, so why let that dictate how submissive you feel around me?

I want a man to submit because he thinks that I, personally, rock. Otherwise, anybody with a vagina would do just as well, right? Anybody at all...

I like to think I'm more special than that.

Leather

2008-05-15T08:44:00.000-07:00